This Is My Club, No Advertisements Allowed

   I pay a lot of money for television every month in order to enjoy and be entertained by programs I love. However, I do not pay tons of money to watch advertisements. Advertisements have completely taken over television and it really grinds my gears. It enrages me that programs that should be an hour long are really only 40 minutes long with 20 minutes worth of commercial breaks. Even worse, most of the advertisements and commercials are extremely moronic. They are not funny, not entertaining, and definitely do not cause me to race out of my apartment to buy the crap that they are peddling.
   At first, commercials had only invaded television. It was a slight annoyance that I accepted due to the fact that I could avoid them most of the time. But advertisements are an evil breed that have been crouched and waiting in the dark for an opportunity to be unleashed upon the world. At the first sign of a weak defense, they begun sneakily implanting themselves into our movies. The first time I had to watch 10 minutes of commercials before the previews actually started I almost pooped my pants in order to fling it like an enraged monkey at the screen. I felt so violated. The movie theater once was a safe haven for entertainment seekers, but suddenly it became spoiled ground which I began to loathe.
   My peaceful world of entertainment was insidiously being taken over by the unfeeling, imbecilic advertisement monster. But at least I still had the Internet. Yes, advertisements were placed on websites that I frequented, but they were easily ignored. Oh how wrong I was! At first, it started with network sites when you wanted to watch episodes. But then, the bloody commercial monster turned its greedy eyes to YouTube and Hulu. There was no safe nor serene place left to turn to. The poison seeped into our iPads and our Kindles, taking over all of our mobile devices. The foolish advertisement atrocity thought it had won.
   But I am not so easily defeated. I am a malicious little thing when I feel used and abused, or even slightly irritated. My weapon of choice? A massive channel selection and the mute button. Advertisements may have invaded every single entertainment frontier, but they can not force us to watch their vile offal. If I watch television, I dodge the commercials by constantly changing channels until I find one that isn't on a commercial break. If I am on my computer or mobile devices and a forced advertisement is playing before my content, I mute it and open a new tab and browse, or I play solitaire until it is finished. When I go to see a movie, I purposely arrive 15 minutes late in order to miss the advertisements and commercials, but still in time to watch the previews.
   Advertisements and commercials are pernicious and execrable nuisances on society. They are almost impossible to escape in this modern age, but they can be thwarted. Just remember this old adage: Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.