I Pray For a Zombie Apocalypse

   Sadly, I can no longer watch the History Channel. It seems like an Apocalypse frenzy every time I turn it on. There is always one documentary after another about the end of the world. Some of them say it will be a natural disaster, some swear it will be a plague, while others seem to think the end of the world will be brought on by a massive climate shift. While the scientists cramp their hands and brains with calculations and the scientific validity of apocalyptic scenarios, I pray that humanity is taken out by zombies. That's right, zombies, because zombies give me a higher chance of survival. Without immense financial or military backing, surviving world-ending natural disasters or climate changes would be extremely difficult. However, any idiot who can aim and shoot a gun can battle zombies and survive for at least a little while. With the proper preparation, every person has a fighting chance at surviving a zombie-type Apocalypse. I pray for a zombie Apocalypse, because I have the perfect plan to survive it.

Step 1: Preparation

Your plan is only as strong as your preparation for it. I plan on surviving the zombies unscathed and relatively comfortably considering the world is over. I plan to start taking various classes to build my fighting capabilities and to get my body in peak condition such as archery, shooting classes, fencing, and some sort of martial art such as Karate or Tae Kwon Do. That way I can properly and effectively defend myself against zombies in any situation, or with almost any weapon including my own hands. Another necessary preparation is having all of the necessary supplies. I will make sure I have a varied supply of guns and ammo, knives, and a well-stocked survival pack. I will make sure my zombie kit is always readily available at every moment of every day, because zombies do not have manners and will not think twice about disrupting dinner or your favorite show.

Step 2: Gather a Crew and Learn Some Skills

A group is only as strong as its weakest link, so make sure your group doesn't have one! I plan on utilizing  thorough investigative interview processes to attain members of my zombie-killing crew. I will make sure my crew has a vast array of skill sets including a doctor, scientist, technology professional, soldier, musician, engineer, professor, and even an inventor. Every person in my crew must take part in all of the above preparations so they are capable of defending themselves and killing scores of zombies. Average people are also able to join my crew if they have or learn a valuable skill such as desalinating ocean water, building shelters, or even advanced sewing. If you can kill zombies and you have skills, you are in!

Step 3: Have a Viable Plan 

Come up with a plan and stick to it. The more you deviate from your plan, the more likely it is to fail. After much thought I came up with an ideal plan for my location. I believe the best chance of survival is on the water. Ships have the benefits of an island with the ability to move. In most zombie movies, the zombies can not swim, thus a ship would be the easiest to protect and defend. This plan will not be difficult, as I live in Seattle, and there are many different types of ships to choose from close at hand. A military ship will be the best vessel to ensure survival for the beginning part of the Apocalypse and, luckily, there is a navy base right across the Sound. A military ship is large, stealthy, and already designed to defend against attacks. It has a basic and bare set-up which will more easily allow my crew to clear it of any zombies that have wandered onto it. We will take the vessel into the ocean while we zombie-proof it and are able to defend it without any problems. 

After the Apocalypse is well under way,and after things have settled a bit, we will return to the city and sweep it for capable survivors and more supplies. All new crew members will undergo rigorous training to ensure that the crew has no weak links. We will make city sweeps up and down the coast once a month until we stop finding survivors and zombie attacks become less frequent, or sparse, as we kill the zombies or they die off. Once the crew becomes large enough, we will begin to consider comfort and re-establishing a proper and functioning society. We will begin this endeavor by taking over a cruise ship since they are designed for comfort and basically off-land living. 

After the Apocalypse seems to be winding down, we will begin to replenish and build a proper society on our ships. Anyone with skills in trade will begin to teach others their skills. Everyone must choose a set of skills to learn in order to keep a functioning society. Any children that are born will begin defensive training at the age of five. It is pertinent that there are no weak links. We do not want another outbreak of zombies just because our children are helpless and totally dependent on the adults. After many years of sea living, we will consider moving back to land. 

People are either survivors or they aren't. So the question is, are you going to be a survivor, or are you going  to be a zombie?