Companies Think English Majors Just Sit Around Saying Big Words

   Nothing is more frustrating than job hunting. In fact, next time I am faced with a job hunt I might just "accidentally" slip and fall into a tank filled with acid and piranhas, because even a gruesome and painful death seems more appealing than skimming one more job posting filled with spelling and grammar errors.
   Job hunting wouldn't be as annoying as it always seems to be if the companies doing the hiring actually understood what an English degree is. I am constantly browsing and applying for jobs as proofreaders, copywriters, and editors. Every single one of these postings always ask for people with English degrees, and then go on to require someone who has had experience editing, proofreading, and writing. What do you think English majors do? Sit around in wing-back chairs, sipping tea while we say big words to one another?
   For all of you people who do not understand what English majors do for four years in college, I will explain. Yes, we do read a lot. Mostly books that you wouldn't even dare to begin to read, or understand for that matter. Yes, we do take grammar classes where we delight in the small nuances of the English language. And yes, sometimes we even sit in wing-back chairs. But we also write! We write 25 page thesis papers, research essay after research essay, poetry, short stories, and much more. And guess what? We edit and proofread our own work too! That is why it is so frustrating to find a job in the writing/editing field. Companies want 2-3 years of professional proofreading and editing experience. That is what English majors do for 4 years of their lives!
   Some would argue that, technically, it is not professional experience, but I disagree with that. As first defined in the dictionary, a professional is someone following an occupation as a means of livelihood or gain. I was working towards my English degree to gain knowledge of the field I love. Obtaining my degree ensured my parents' financial support through school, thus for four years English was my livelihood. Another common definition for professional is a person who is an expert at his or her work. I can write a 25 page thesis paper in a matter of days, dissect any sentence in the English language and describe its parts, and read Russian literature like it is nothing more than a child's picture book. I can even accomplish all of this while graduating with honors. Yeah, I am an expert at my subject.
   I am a professional English scholar. I have four years of professional writing and editing experience, or maybe I just reclined on an ostentatious wing-back chair saying words things like egregious and quixotic. I guess no one except us English majors will ever know.